Beware of people who talk bad about others

Posted by on Dec 8, 2012 in Self-help | 0 comments

Some people love to spread rumor. Sometimes even twisting the rumor to their own preferences (customising?). Some can be ridiculously funny, some harmless but some can be very bad and mean.

Perhaps they have a lot of creativity juice in them or perhaps, they have the dream of becoming a tabloid writer or a novelist? Whatever they want to be or want to do, one piece of advice to them – don’t overdo it.

Harmless stuff can be fun. But not when it becomes twisted from the truth. And definitely not when you spread the false stuff to other people.

Always remember what you say and do, show what kind of person you are even if you yourself don’t know it. 

If you can talk bad about me in front of A, B and C, what makes A, B, C think that you won’t talk bad about them in front of other people?

Do some self-reflection before it’s too late.

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Posted by on Nov 23, 2012 in Self-help | 0 comments

Having more certificates doesn’t make you smarter.

Driving a bigger car doesn’t mean you’re richer.

Reaching your destination earlier doesn’t mean you’re a skillful driver.

Using a more expensive camera doesn’t make you a better photographer.

Staying in a big 3-storey house doesn’t mean you can look down on your other neighbours.

Being there doesn’t mean you’re fulfilling your duty as a good son/daughter (especially if you’re not listening).

Having more experience doesn’t mean your decision is always right.

Working more hours doesn’t mean you are more efficient.

Finishing more books doesn’t make you more knowledgeable.

Drinking more alcohol doesn’t make you more man.

Smoking more cigarrettes doesn’t make you cooler.


And having all the above, not necessarily will make you happier.

But one thing for sure, having all the above does not mean your life is more precious and you are worth more than other people around you.

Remember, throw away your misconceptions because more often than not, those are the things that keep you blinded for so long.

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Things that matter cannot be quantified

Posted by on Nov 14, 2012 in Self-help | 0 comments

I came from a consulting background and in our world, NUMBERS rule them all. Everything can be quantified – people, hours spent on project, minutes spent on meetings, project cost, mileage from office to client site, per diem, etc. And if you are sitting in the office without any assignment, it means you have ZERO chargeable hour….and low utilization rate, which means you’re not earning money for the company.

Chargeable hours low = not valuable to the company. Easy isn’t it?

But is this the only thing a company should look at? Is this the only thing WE should look at, be it in our career or in our daily life?

I don’t think so. There are a lot more intangible things that we should not ignore – how is the team spirit whenever this person is present, what is the customer’s feedback on his work, how is his work attitude, etc.

Obvious as it seems, these things are hard to be quantified and thus, hard to be measured by the company.

Similarly in our life, we always tend to neglect things that we cannot quantify.

  • The short but memorable time we spent with someone.
  • The importance of a hand-made gift if compared to an expensive one.
  • A 10 minutes life lesson sharing session with a Cancer patient compared to a 30 minutes motivational talk from a millionaire.
  • Or the value of an employee who is talented in his work but can’t work with other people, versus an employee who has normal skill set but can bring the whole team together.

Perhaps, it is the way we all have been brought up, in this world which values numbers and everything quantifiable. But you and I both know that there are so many important things in life which cannot be quantified. Things that really matter in life.

I used to think that way….where spending a certain amount of time with my loved ones is more important than the quality of the time spent itself….until one day, someone dear to me told me….it matters not how many days we spend together, but the precious moments that we create from those time we spend together. Which, really makes sense to me.

So the next time you want to spend time or do something, make sure that you stop caring so much about the things that can be quantified and start focusing in creating precious moments that cannot be quantified at all.

Because life, in the end, is not something that can be quantified itself.

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Forgive, but not forget

Posted by on Nov 4, 2012 in Self-help | 0 comments

Every time someone we know did something to us that we don’t like, we’ll be devastated or angry. It can be something as simple as not following a clear instruction, to something as complicated and as heart-wrenching as betrayal. And whenever things like this happen, people around us will tell us, don’t dwell on it for too long. Learn to forgive and forget.

The thing about this “forgive and forget” is that it never work for most of us. How can we forget something that has such a big impact (good or bad) in our life before? How can we forget setbacks which have taught us those valuable life lessons? How can we ignore the things that our loved ones did not long ago?

Well, we can’t and we don’t need to. The burnt marks will always be there, but they are not that bad.

All we need to do is to forgive. It’s okay to remember those things, but learn to let go and forgive. Pick it up from there and move on with our life as a better person.

I’m saying this because, there will be times when our loved ones say the wrong things to us during an argument. You know, when everything is so heat up, people tend to lose their cool and not think properly before they speak. And once spoken, there’s no “UNDO” button that we can use or “Recall” option like our Microsoft Outlook. We will have to let those words sink in, and do whatever mess they want to do in our heart.

Then, we need to let go. We need to know that people do tend to say the wrong words once in a while. But as long as they know and they are sorry…..then we must make sure we forgive them and never dig back the past again.

From a personal experience, a loved one said something to me few days ago which hurt me very badly. And I can still remember those words clearly.

But do I hate her for it? Do I dislike her for it?

No. Because she has already apologised and we need to let bygones be bygones.

And no, I cannot forget because I don’t have short term memory loss. But that doesn’t mean, I cannot forgive.

And to me, the willingness to forgive should always be there in our heart because it will really bring us far.

So, learn to forgive :)

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The best gift in the world

Posted by on Oct 24, 2012 in Self-help | 0 comments

The best gift in the world is none other than time.

The time you spend….

  • Chatting with your family.
  • Accompanying your spouse to the clinic.
  • Listening to a troubled friend.
  • Having fun with your kids/nieces/nephews.
  • Caring for your aging parents.
  • Brainstorming a solution to a problem for your boss.
  • Walking in the park with your loved ones.
  • Attending your child’s birthday party or graduation.

The time you spend….by being there, 100%.

Simple as it is, it CAN mean a lot to your loved ones. Much more than you initially thought it is.

Remember that your time is your life. And nothing beats giving your life as a gift to your loved ones. Most often than not, giving your time (your life) as a gift can mean much much more than giving money, branded goods, or luxury items.

Just make sure that you’re giving it with a sincere heart, and will be there 100% and not half-heartedly. :)

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Take it slow

Posted by on Oct 22, 2012 in Self-help | 0 comments

Have you ever experienced this – late for an appointment, and driving very fast so that you can get there in time? I have. And I don’t like it.

Rushing is bad. Be it rushing for a….

  • project deadline – you might produce more problematic deliverables which you will have to fix later….thus spending more time
  • job interview – you might end up sweating all over and panic/nervous…which means you might not do well and keep calm during interview
  • date – don’t think the other half likes to see you sweating and trying to catch breath while pretending to be cool and calm
  • TV show – this….is quite stupid. Why are you rushing for something which you can watch online, download or buy a DVD?
  • movie/concert – ever considered the fact that….you might not get a car park when you reach the venue/mall late? So in this case, the earlier the better.
  • meeting after lunch – which means you have to ‘swallow’ your food instead of slowly consuming them

or it can be anything at all.

The funny thing is, most of us know that rushing will most likely give bad outcomes – driving fast leads to car accidents, you’re endangering the lives of others on the road, indigestion, panicky mood, bad impression, problematic deliverables/products, etc.

And yet, we don’t plan ahead. We never plan ahead (most of the time). We are always taking our own sweet time initially…only to rush at the very end when we realized we’ve relaxed way too much or when we realized we’re running short of time.

So, for a change, why not we plan ahead and make sure we have enough time for everything? Don’t rush. It’s bad and it’s dangerous.

And also, you won’t be able to enjoy life if you tend to rush a lot. Take it slow. Enjoy every moment.

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